The RedMolly Picayune-Democrat

Another musical interlude

Fisher, just now:

"Sweet dreams are made of these
Baked potatoes and lots of peas
I travel the world and I eat some cheese
Everybody's ready for munchin'..."

We're not sure what his costume is going to be tonight, but I'm rooting for an Annie Lennox getup.

T-t-t-t-Tuesday Ten

Lori did it, and I've been feeling blogatorially challenged, so now I'm doing it too. With pictures. (As ever: all photos by James Newman. Thanks, sweetie!)

1. The garden is in! The garden is in! Well, most of it, anyway. I'm going to map out what I've planted where, take some pictures, and maybe even post them here. Yeah, we'll see. I did get about 80 bulbs in the ground yesterday, plus creeping thyme, sage and coreopsis... and a bunch of transplants from the unlovely next-to-the-house beds to the slightly less unlovely middle of the mulch-covered yard.
2. Solitude. I had a big ol' chunk of it last week; the boys (Jim, Fisher & Rhys) flew out to Colorado on Tuesday, and Jim returned home with the $&@#@$!! as-yet-unsold Land Rover late on Friday night. (Anybody want to buy a $&@#@$!! Land Rover?) All alone for four days/three nights; I don't know if I've ever been by myself in the house all night before, at least not since we had kids. I was going to blog about it in hopes of getting a little reassurance from my Beloved Commenters, but then I thought "y'know, I really have no idea who is reading this blog" and so I kept it to myself. And then I realized that the Home Depot clerk from whom I'd bought a dishwasher on Tuesday knew that I was home alone and also had my delivery address conveniently written down right in front of him, and I scared myself dreadfully for a couple of hours until I convinced the cats to sleep with me. Because they would totally be a big help in a fight for my life with an armed intruder.
3. A musical weekend! We went to the Doug Fir on Saturday and saw Dat'r (our favoritest local band), Foreign Born (they were just OK, but their guitarist was pretty cute) and Datarock (Norwegian guys in crazy red tracksuits! Woo-hoo!). This is Dat'r:
   
   And this is Datarock:
   
   
4. Then we went to the Crystal Ballroom on Sunday and saw a fun psychedelicore Sabbath-stoney Seattle band called Whalebones opening up for Jason Lytle (formerly of Grandaddy) and M. Ward. Jason Lytle had kind of a sort of a breakdown on stage. It was dreadful; he said "I'm really getting tired of this acoustic shit" and was loudly taunted by the crowd. Grandaddy was an amazing band, and their songs as performed by a dispirited former lead singer were just heartbreakingly crappy. I kind of wanted to give him a hug and whisper "Get the band back together" in his ear. But M. Ward was awesome enough to almost make up for Jason's sub-lackluster performance. Here's Jason Lytle in all his non-glory:
   
5. I wrapped the BLT's bumper around a pole because I was looking for bicyclists when I was backing up. Yay me! I am a safe, wise and cautious driver.
   
6. We went to a parallel universe! Actually, it was just the parking garage at 15th and Burnside. We parked there Saturday night before the M. Ward show and spent the next ten minutes wandering up and down hallways that led to nowhere, trying frantically to find a way out of the building. There was one door hanging a few inches open, and we could hear a radio playing beyond it... but when we tried to push it open, we discovered there was a concrete curb four or five inches on the other side of the doorway. Ultimately, we had to go through a series of Emergency Exits ("Alarm Will Sound") to emerge, blinking, out on the refreshingly uncomplicated street.
7. Apparently, someone else got so lost in this parking garage some time ago that s/he just gave up and went away sans car. And I guess the garage was too much of a maze for the attendants to point a tow truck in the abandoned vehicle's direction.
   
8. I got a new haircut this morning. Well, actually, it was just a trim updating this haircut, which I got a few weeks ago. Just had to share this picture because Jim took it at Lupa, which has the best portrait lighting of any place in Portland. Or at least of any wine bar. Look at that smooth, flawless skin which is so very neither smooth nor flawless in real life!
9. Joe and Karan are coming to see us tomorrow! Plus a very special guest visit by the Jac & Mike Show! The safe-n-sane hedonism is just palpable. Yay friends!
10. And last, but not least: we discovered the world's only known 100%-effective form of birth control at Fred Mayer this weekend. After the jump...

If you were in my movie

...or I were in yours, or... you know, I'm really not sure how that would play out, ontologically speaking.

Anyway, via Laelaps, here's a swell new or trusty old meme, entitled "Soundtrack of my Life." And I'm putting a spin on it, because following directions is harrrrrrd.

Says Brian:

If your life was a movie, what would the soundtrack be?
So, here’s how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle/random
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that’s playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don’t lie!
*Optional: Add in a YouTube video or two (if there is one) for some of the songs, or even some sample lyrics to flesh things out a bit

Now, soundtracks are something I think about all the time. More specifically, the theoretical soundtrack to my theoretical zombie movie Z-fer Madness. (I re-watched the last two-thirds of Reefer Madness the other day... what a towering cinematic/propagandistic achievement that film was.) Right now, I think "Rainbow Connection"--the Me First and the Gimme Gimmes version--would be the perfect track for the ending credits.

So naturally, I couldn't pass up on such an, er, fertile-sounding territory.

Let the randomness commence!

Musical interlude

Rhys, just now, to the tune of "Rock the Casbah":

"I really do-on't like it
Scoopin' the cat-box
Scoopin' the cat-box"

Truer words were never spoken; it is, in every sense of the word, a crap job.

Split-level music

Playing upstairs, where I'm working on my computer: Kanye West.
Playing downstairs, where Jim was making breakfast: Elvis Costello.

And never the twain shall meet.

Eighties-off! Part Deux

Here it is... the long-awaited sequel to the original Eighties-Off! Your suggestions for Eighties-Off! III: Return of the Son of the Eighties-Off! are welcome as always.

1. The Pretenders: "Brass in Pocket" or "10,000 Miles?"
2. Wham!: "Careless Whisper" or "Everything She Wants?"
3. George Michael: "I Want Your Sex" or "Faith?"
4. R.E.M.: "Orange Crush" or "Stand?"
5. Bangles: "Manic Monday" or "Hazy Shade of Winter?"
6. The Go-Gos: "We Got the Beat" or "Our Lips Are Sealed?"
7. Prince: "Sign o' the Times" or "When Doves Cry?"
8. Prince: "Raspberry Beret" or "Little Red Corvette?" (Disclaimer: Prince is fully awesome enough to deserve two slots. The many moods of Prince, don't you know.)
9. Madonna: "Like A Virgin" or "Material Girl?"
10. Elvis Costello: "Veronica" or "Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood?"
11. Bauhaus: "Swing the Heartache" or "Bela Lugosi's Dead?"
12. Depeche Mode: "People are People" or "Personal Jesus?"
13. Poison: "Talk Dirty 2 Me" or "Unskinny Bop?" (Disclaimer #2: We will not even mention "Every Rose Has its Thorn." We will not even MENTION it, so shut up.)
14. U2: "Where the Streets Have No Name" or "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For?"
15. Red Hot Chili Peppers: "If You Want Me to Stay" or "Higher Ground?"
16. Bon Jovi: "Living on a Prayer" or "Wanted Dead or Alive?"
17. Tesla: "Signs" or "Love Song?"
18. Tom Waits: "Singapore" or "Rain Dogs?"
19. Debbie Gibson: "Foolish Beat" or "Only In My Dreams?"
20. Crowded House: "Don't Dream It's Over" or "Something So Strong?"
21. Thompson Twins: "Hold Me Now" or "Doctor Doctor?"
22. Howard Jones: "What Is Love" or "No One is to Blame?"
23. Stray Cats: "Rock This Town" or "Stray Cat Strut?"
24. The Church: "Under the Milky Way" or "Reptile?"
25. Pet Shop Boys: "It's a Sin" or "West End Girls?"

Prizes, international acclaim, etc.

Eighties-off!

So Jim and I just nearly came to blows (hee) over this eternal question:

Which is a better Dead or Alive song: "You Spin Me Right Round" or "Brand New Lover?"

(The correct answer is (b), if you wanted to know.)

Anyway, it led me us to thinking: what if there were to be a no-holds-barred Eighties-Off, in which two songs by a given artist from that much-esteemed decade were to be placed head-to-head in a grungy-ass death match?

It would be freakin' awesome, that's what.

So here, for your pleasure and entertainment and edification, I present the first-ever Pic-Dem Eighties-Off contest. There will be prizes, maybe! And if I've missed your favorite bands, please  LMK. I'll add them here or in a future version, mayhap. (Part Deux has already been written...)

1. Pixies: "Gouge Away" or "Gigantic?"
2. Mike and the Mechanics: "All I Need is a Miracle" or "Silent Running?"
3. INXS: "Need You Tonight" or "Never Tear Us Apart?"
4. Wang Chung: "Dance Hall Days" or "Everybody Have Fun?"
5. Romeo Void: "Girl in Trouble (is a temporary thing)" or "Never Say Never" (aka "I might like you better if we slept together")?
6. Thomas Dolby: "She Blinded Me With Science" or "One of Our Submarines?"
7. Pat Benatar: "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" or "Love is a Battlefield?"
8. Billy Idol: "White Wedding" or "Rebel Yell?"
9. B-52s: "Love Shack" or "Rock Lobster?"
10. Talking Heads: "Burning Down the House" or "Once in a Lifetime?"
11. The Cars: "Drive" or "Just What I Needed?"
12. Michael Jackson: "Beat It" or "Billie Jean?"
13. Guns 'n' Roses: "Welcome to the Jungle" or "Sweet Child o' Mine?" (Disclaimer: My alarm clock plays me the sweet MIDI-fied sounds of "Sweet Child o' Mine" every morning. Where do we go now?)
14. Eurhythmics: "Sweet Dreams" or "Here Comes the Rain?"
15. The Cure: "Boys Don't Cry" or "Just Like Heaven?"
16. Cyndi Lauper: "True Colors" or "Time After Time?"
17. Public Enemy: "Don't Believe the Hype" or "911 Is a Joke?"
18. John (Cougar) (Mellencamp): "Jack and Diane" or "Pink Houses?"
19. Olivia Newton John: "Physical" or "Hopelessly Devoted to You?"
20. Duran Duran: "Hungry Like the Wolf" or "Rio?"
21. Culture Club: "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?" or "Karma Chameleon?"
22. Terence Trent d'Arby: "Sign Your Name" or "Wishing Well?"
23. The Smiths: "Bigmouth Strikes Again" or "How Soon is Now?"
24. The Police: "Spirits in the Material World" or "Murder by Numbers?"
25. The Clash: "Rock the Casbah" or "Should I Stay or Should I Go?"

and the super-duper bonus question:
Joy Division's "Heart and Soul" or Sisters of Mercy's "Lucretia My Reflection?"

Talk amongst yourselves... I'm getting all verklempt.

There's (going to be) a tear in my beer

This is the part where I say goodbye to my favorite part of living in Grand Junction.

I speak, of course, of my biweekly radio show. Today's the last time my so-melodious voice will float across the airwaves, unimpeded by style or sense.

And naturally, the theme is "Tearjerkers." And also "Portland." Three hours of sad sad songs, plus a (brief) interview with a singer-songwriter who's playing here this weekend.

You know the drill... tune in online 1-4 p.m. Mountain time for the saddest Radiohead, Sufjan Stevens, Neko Case, Of Montreal, Amy Winehouse and Smashing Pumpkins songs ever. Also a handful of very silly songs (think The Waitresses), just 'cuz.

Joanna Newsom,

Joanna Newsom, Joanna Newsom. If you're writing anything in a fantastical vein, or if you have the wee-est drop of elfin blood in your veins, or if you just need something that's undeniably strange, yet inspirational without bogging down in saccharine muck... you owe it to yourself to check out her astonishing, twitter-voiced, harp-saturated, vaguely hallucinatory compositions.

A few months ago, I downloaded a couple tracks off Ys on a whim. Ten minutes later (actually, 9:08 later, as soon as the first track was done) I was back to get the rest. Have since added her debut, The Milk-Eyed Mender, and her brand-new random EP, Joanna Newsom and the Ys Street Band, to my ever-growing collection.

As far as I can tell, you can grab any two lines from a randomly-chosen Joanna Newsom song and have yourself a bit of poetry of the most awesome sort.* ** *** Her undeniably weird shuddery voice might take some getting used to. For me, it was about fifteen seconds; as ever, YMMV. And I don't as a rule like anything in that quasi-Renaissancey Loreena McKennitt vein and harps generally give me hives, so this is highest freakin' praise here.

* "stretched on a hoop where I stitched this adage:/ 'Bless this house and its heart so savage' " ("The Sprout and the Bean")
** "What is now known by the sorrel and the roan, by the chestnut and the bay and the gelding gray?/ It is: stay by the gate you are given/ And remain in your place for your season" ("Monkey & Bear," a truly heartbreaking song)
*** "And all that we built and all that we breathed/ And all that we spilt or pulled up like weeds/ Is piled up in back and it burns irrevocably" ("Sadie")

Help me use up my downloads!

So I'm on the 40-tracks-per-month plan at eMusic (if you sign up, use my name, thanks in advance for the fine free music), largely so I can get cool new stuff for each edition of RedMolly Radio (OK, so it's technically called the Paradise Cafe). And this month, I have 25 or so unused downloads still to go. And a show this afternoon.

So what I'm wondering is... is there anything out there, brand-new or otherwise, that I should own and/or play and you don't think I'm likely to own and/or play if you don't tell me about it?

Highlights of today's show are slated to include:

• Jarvis Cocker, "Black Magic"--former Pulp frontman goes crazy with the blatant "Crimson and Clover" ripoff!
• Pixies, "Alec Eiffel"--a smart aleck, indeed
• Antony and the Johnsons, "You Are My Sister" and/or his feat.  Rufus Wainwright track "What Can I Do?"--short but sad, sad but sweet, sweet but bitter, bitter but short
• Camper Van Beethoven, "Tania"--hooray for songs that give shoutouts to San Leandro and Daly City!
• Toto Coelo, "I Eat Cannibals"--this product is intended for entertainment value only. Cape does not enable user to fly
• Explosions in the Sky, "Welcome, Ghosts"--hear me violate my own rules against playing instrumentals on the radio!
• Happy Mondays, "Kinky Afro"--does anyone but me remember these early-'90s Madchester drug-soaked geniuses?
• Blur, "Song 2"--'cause Laelaps mentioned it and so I've had it stuck in my head

And what else should be included?