I can't get this story from the NYT out of my head.
Even now, at 81 and with her memory beginning to fade, Gloria Donadello recalls her painful brush with bigotry at an assisted-living center in Santa Fe, N.M. Sitting with those she considered friends, “people were laughing and making certain kinds of comments, and I told them, ‘Please don’t do that, because I’m gay.’”
The result of her outspokenness, Ms. Donadello said, was swift and merciless. “Everyone looked horrified,” she said. No longer included in conversation or welcome at meals, she plunged into depression. Medication did not help. With her emotional health deteriorating, Ms. Donadello moved into an adult community nearby that caters to gay men and lesbians.
“I felt like I was a pariah,” she said, settled in her new home. “For me, it was a choice between life and death.”
Elderly gay people like Ms. Donadello, living in nursing homes or assisted-living centers or receiving home care, increasingly report that they have been disrespected, shunned or mistreated in ways that range from hurtful to deadly, even leading some to commit suicide.
Worth checking out even if only for the lede photo.
What do you think?
Oh my gosh, that is a troubling story. And that photo is wonderful and sweet and sad.
Posted by: Herm | October 11, 2007 at 12:21 PM
I think it's terribly sad and no one should have to deal with that kind of crap at her age.
Posted by: Magpie Ima | October 11, 2007 at 07:53 PM
The picture touched me, too. My grandfather fed my grandmother for a long time.
What a sad story. And something I had never thought about, too. It's not like people get older and outgrow being gay, is it?
And who is more prejudiced against gay people than the oldest generation?
I'll be thinking about this one awhile.
Posted by: Ami | October 12, 2007 at 07:00 AM
look at this salon article, yikes! Gives a whole new meaning to my home ec class in jr high...
Posted by: molly jones | October 12, 2007 at 11:05 AM
sorry here is the link! http://www.salon.com/mwt/broadsheet/?last_story=/mwt/broadsheet/2007/10/12/homemaking_school/
Posted by: molly jones | October 12, 2007 at 11:06 AM
What a sad article.
Posted by: Helena | October 12, 2007 at 11:51 AM
Utterly troubling.
Did you watch the little video they had on the one couple?
Posted by: Summer | October 12, 2007 at 06:15 PM
I wasn't aware of this problem either. Like the trials of aging aren't difficult enough. To be shunned by your companions, and fear your caretakers? It's devastating to imagine. Thanks for posting.
Posted by: Lynn | October 12, 2007 at 09:39 PM