Hell's bells, is it Sunday again? The weekend is shriveling up like a raisin in the sun. Monday looms, and with it Responsibility. Ewwwww.
How to tell when you're a terrible mother:
SELF: Go outside and play.
5YO: It's too ho-ot!
SELF: No it's not. It's beautiful. Go outside.
3YO: But I'm ti-red!
SELF: Then you can be tired outside.
3YO: I have a tummyache!
SELF: Then you can have a tummyache outside. (pause) I don't think I'm getting through to you guys here. What I am saying is GO. OUTSIDE. NOW.
(Children reluctantly repair to backyard... which, from the quality of their reactions, you would think was some sort of mercury-tainted wasteland. In fact, it boasts such child-friendly upgrades as a dirt pit [just what it sounds like], a fleet of Tonka trucks, two RC vehicles without batteries [less noisy that way, also they're less able to chase the cats with them] and a $1100 play structure assembled with much blood, sweat, tears and beer by Papa and Papa's best friend.)
Five minutes elapse.
3YO: (appears, Haley Joel Osment-like, at my side. Says nothing.)
SELF: Aren't you supposed to be outside?
3YO: (leans in for a kiss)
SELF: (offers hug, kiss on dirt-scented little head) Honey, why don't you go back outside with Fisher?
3YO: I wanna sit on your waaaaaap.
SELF: No, honey, Mama's only going to be here for a minute. Go on outside.
3YO: (sinks to floor with immensely world-weary sigh... sticks hand down front of shorts)
SELF: Rhys, if you're tired, maybe you should take a nap.
3YO: I have a tummyache.
SELF: Do you want to have a tummyache and take a nap, or have a tummyache and go outside?
3YO: (stubborn silence)
SELF: OK, it looks like you're choosing nap.
3YO: NO! Mama, I'm finking! I'm finking about it!
5YO: (materializes) Mama, can I read you a story about a bug that's THIS big? (holding up thumb)
OK, obviously blogging is not to be today...
Oh my gosh, too funny!!! I hope you get some "me" time, soon!
Posted by: Nancy (scrappyknees) | April 03, 2005 at 01:19 PM
poor you
Posted by: Chiara | April 03, 2005 at 06:54 PM
Hee hee. I heart your children. Can they come visit Auntie Herm and Uncle Joe soon? We have no yard so they can sit in the apartment to their little hearts' content.
Posted by: Herm | April 04, 2005 at 07:22 AM