The RedMolly Picayune-Democrat

Hey, these guys went and usurped my life mission, darn them

The Typo Eradication Advancement League (TEAL), that is.

They've even been to Portland, whacking errant uses of the possessive and correcting the too-frequent misspelling of "nonpareil" (a thoroughly nasty candy in its own right). And I didn't even know they were here! I could've given them an eyeful at WinCo, I'm sure.

Well, that does it. Someone else has taken my calling (and, er, my mom's, and I suspect my sister's and Helena's as well). I guess I might as well just retire to the front porch with a twelve-pack of PBR and consider myself washed up.

Jesus H. Christ on a jumped-up chariot disco ball...

I have got to get the hell out of this town. This state, this time zone.

I was just glancing over the post I just did and noticed a glaring, hideous, egregious, garbage blanc grammatical error. (No, I'm not going to admit what it was.)

Please, Dear Reader, if I ever employ the construction "I seen" in this blog (and I'm not directly quoting a denizen of Grand Junction or some similar purgatory), hie thee to the pawn shop, pick up a shotgun and come put me out of my misery. I'd rather die than live as a usage-ignorant vegetable.