The RedMolly Picayune-Democrat

A star is born, kinda

Well, crap on a crap cracker. I could swear I blogged about this back when I first happened, but I've spent the last ten minutes searching back through old posts and I can't find anything about it. Apparently I was too busy writing about cats and wine and my own cranky self to take notice of this event.

Anyway, a bunch of years ago, like two or maybe even almost three, Fisher was selected via an arduous (cough) audition process to play a bit part in an indie film being shot in Grand Junction, called, fascinatingly enough, "Grand Junction." And when I say "indie" I mean like "hey, I've got a camera, let's put on a show!", not like Jim Jarmusch or anything.

So, as indie films often do, this one ran out of money and sank without a bubble. But this last week, the filmmaker (an amiable fellow named Joe) e-mailed Jim's mom (who had signed Fisher up for the audition in the first place) with a link to some (extremely) rough footage including a few (very) rough clips of Fisher.

He's the little blondie with the green eyes, in case you can't tell.

So after seeing this tiny bit, yeah, I guess it was probably a good thing the whole project was never finished, maybe. But don't you think Fisher's pretty adorable in his bit part as "Li'l Spence?" He's got a line and a Significant Look and everything!

The boys left today for twelve days in Colorado with Grandma & Grandpa. So I'm just going to watch this clip over and over so maybe I won't miss them, or at least Fisher, quite so much.

You can't fight the beast

So we dumped cable over a year ago. Television had an uncomfortable hold on our lives, and we figured we'd save $80 a month, read more books and perhaps watch more quality film of the classic and/or independent & interesting variety. So we held on to Netflix.

Eighteen-or-so months later, here's the first chunk of our Netflix queue (you will probably need to click on it to bring up a legible version):

  
Yep. Eleven of the top twenty on our queue are in that maddeningly nebulous genre, "Television."

Sigh. How well-accustomed we have grown to our chains.

(But look, look! We have "La Dolce Vita" and "Babette's Feast" AND a Howard Zinn documentary on there! Please, will you still talk to us, please?)

Because I am far too lazy, I mean overworked

...to write a real post, here are some videos instead.

Rudy. It's about security.

"Shining"--the feel-good movie of the year!

Jaan Pehechaan Ho

The greatest musical number ever, from the 1965 Bollywood flick Gumnaam.

If you're thinking this looks or sounds like the clip used in Terry Zwigoff's 2001 film Ghost World (one of my favorite movies ever! Love you, Thora Birch and Scarlett Johansson! Love you, Steve Buscemi!), then you are exactly correct.

(The song was stuck in my head, which led to my looking up the dance number on Youtube, which hence.)

Inex-frickin-plicable

Speaking of horrifying Halloween spectacles...

This is the trailer for "Repo: The Genetic Opera," starring Paris Hilton and, oddly, Sarah Brightman. Coming to theatres near you for oh, three days or so next February.

Would somebody please let me in on the joke? This is a total hoax, right? It must be. The rightness of the universe depends upon it.

Anagrams for "Repo: The Genetic Opera":
A Threepence Goiter Op
A Creepier Ghetto Peon
Prithee, Open a Cortege
Hot Teen Groper Apiece
Hip Teen: Procreate Ego
Ace Tepee Ho Reporting

Any of which would be a better, and apter, name than "Repo: The Genetic Opera." I mean, really.

V. v. qckly

1. I finished editing the Salamander story. Now if Jim would just give it the final read-through he promised me, I'd be ready to submit. Nag, nag, nag. Maybe if he doesn't want to read it I should interpret it as him breaking to me kindly the news of my literary suckitude. Alas.
2. I can't believe I'm feeling sorry for John McCain.
3. Best news ever: George Lucas announces he's working on a Star Wars TV show "about the lives of robots." He's apparently at the looking-for-writers stage... Here I am, George! I'm at this very moment hard at work on a pilot called "Not the Droids You're Looking For," about the Rustbucket Cantina and its clientele of wacky misfit AIs. It's basically like "Cheers" meets "Short Circuit." And get this: it already has a running catchphrase: "That's no moon." Pure comedy gold, man.

Saturday Random 10: the Girl on Film edition

Hooray! Lori had a wonderful idea for a Random 10 list, thereby sparing you all the pain of yet another variation on the "Ten reasons people should hate me" or "Ten things I wish I'd never done" or "Ten stupid ideas I had yesterday" list.

This one is all about the movies, baby. Hollywood! Tinseltown! The harsh truth of the camera eye!

Ten Movies I Love, Categorized and Annotated for Your Blogreading Pleasure

1. My favorite romantic movie: One of the reasons I'm not a Real Girl is that I violently dislike romantic comedies, and generally romantic movies of any sort. Poor Jim digs a nice fluffy romantic comedy every now and again, but I think he hates my throwing-up noises even more than he likes watching the trials and tribulations of an attractive young couple as they learn to reconcile and eventually appreciate their differences and then start smooching all over the place. As Jim likes to inform people with a pained tone, my favorite romantic movie is The Remains of the Day. Because it's got the un-freakin-happiest ending of pretty much any movie ever. (But if one considers a happy ending a necessary component, I guess my favorite is Sense and Sensibility. Love that Emma Thompson. She writes! She acts! She wanders around possessing an unconventional otherworldly beauty!)
2. My favorite foreign language film: Because the theme song has been stuck in my head for the last three-four days, I think I'm going to have to say The Triplets of Belleville.  It hits exactly the right combination of hilarious and deeply unsettling.
3. My favorite horror film: I'll spare you all the long meditations on zombies (O shambling legions of the undead, how I crave thee!) and just mention that the only horror movie that scared me the first, last and every time I've seen it is Poltergeist. (Did you know that movie is rated PG? That's some messed-up scary shit, man. I can't even imagine what it would do to the minis' fragile psyches if they were to watch it.)
4. My favorite documentary: This is Spinal Tap, of course! Oh. You meant a "real" documentary, about "real" things. Err... I guess that excludes Waiting for Guffman, too. How about, er, either I Am Trying to Break Your Heart  (the musical misadventures of Wilco! why big record labels are bad!) or An Inconvenient Truth? Honestly, I'm not much of a documentary watcher. I like my reality in small, carefully spaced doses.
5. My favorite holiday movie: I'm a total traditionalist. Either A Christmas Story  or Elf.
6. My favorite drama: Oooh, a Serious Picture. Exploring the nether bits of the human soul. Errr... what springs to mind is A Simple Plan, in all its nihilistic tragedy-soaked glory. Good freakin' movie, brought to you by Sam Raimi, king of the Evil Dead.
7. My favorite dark comedy: This is my favorite genre (have I told you about the screenplay I'm really truly fer sure gonna write one of these days, called Z-fer Madness? Guess what it's about. If you guessed "pot-smoking zombies preying on hippies in a small Colorado town," you are so totally right.) and picking my favorite dark comedy would be like picking my favorite child. I.e., if I picked one today, tomorrow it would be a different one. But there are many more dark comedies in this world than there are children of me (thank goodness) and so the dilemma is even more unresolvable. Here's a few candidates: Shaun of the Dead (zombie zombie zombie!), Fargo, The Big Lebowski, Barton Fink, After Hours (the greatest movie no one's ever seen), um, the list goes on.
8. My favorite multi-genre movie: "Multi-genre?" How about Ghost World, which artfully combines elements of comedy, drama, Bollywood and Steve Buscemi? Or Being John Malkovich, which wins the Just Plain Strange award and gave the world the unforgettable line "Malkovich malkovich malkovich malkovich?"
9. My favorite feel-good movie: Almost Famous , which I watch from beginning to end every time I see it on TV at night.
10. My favorite animated movie: I already said Triplets of Belleville, didn't I? Maybe Castle in the Sky or Spirited Away, or for those cute and cuddly moments, The Cat Returns. If you're not already an anime fan, The Cat Returns is a nice accessible place to start... not to mention extremely entertaining and kid-friendly. And for a nice dose of non-accessible, extremely kid-unfriendly animation, there's always Heavy Metal. Hee hee hee hee hee.

Let me and/or Lori know if you play...

Worst. Movie. Ever.

So last night we went out with Trevor & Laura for a two-fer: the local Skillsfest (hip-hop festival) and Member Appreciation Night at the Avalon (independent film/shows venue). Went by Skillsfest, discovered they were running very-very late, headed over to the Avalon for free snackies and drinkies and movie.

There was a most unusual jazz combo playing, featuring a mandolin. Also a guy with a fez. And they seemed to be playing lite-jazz versions of '50s rock'n'roll favorites. But hey, that's OK! The plethora of cheese available more than made up for it. Though the sage cheddar was really a little weird, and there were no spreaders for the Saga Blue so I had to leave it alone.

So we headed into the theater proper with our laden paper napkins (no plates--why?) and brimming plastic cups of wine (except Laura, who had root beer) and sat down in the front row of the balcony, which is where the Cool Kids sit. Built-in foot rest and snack holder and all, you know. And we ate, drank and made merry for some time.

Then the movie started. Goodbye Dragon Inn. And we settled back to watch it, hopes high. (The last Member Appreciation Night featured Dear Frankie, which we quite liked.) And we waited for something to happen.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Twenty minutes into this orgy of cinematographic self-indulgence, the following had happened:

• In shabby, unpleasant theater, audience gathers to watch a movie set in 15th-century China.
• Club-footed woman washes hands at great length in bathroom sink.
• Mysterious man walks down hallway.
• Club-footed woman walks, slowly and painfully, down same hallway.
• Man in theater is disturbed by noisily eating patrons. He moves to another seat. A pair of bare feet is thrust over the back of his seat. A large man sits next to him, then gets up and moves away.
• Club-footed woman eats large pink bun-like foodstuff with a brown filling. For five minutes. And then another three-minute recap.
• Club-footed woman climbs stairs, slowly and painfully, to projection room. Adjusts something inside projection room door. Descends stairs, slowly and painfully.

Note what is not included in the list above:

• Semblance of plot.
• Dialogue.
• What really would have made it worthwhile: vengeful gang invading theater, gunning down all present, then performing nifty martial-arts dance a la Kung Fu Hustle.

So we left. Which I have never, ever done before.

So we're Philistines. But at least we were no longer bored Philistines. We went back to the Skillsfest and watched some truly mind-boggling b-boy battles. (Laura's favorite: the poppin' and lockin' contest. My favorite: the barely concealed aggression as the crews mimicked each others' moves in the final rounds.)