Do you ever just have the itching troublesome knowledge that someone with whom you need to get along just doesn't like you, and you aren't sure why or what to do about it? Are you never quite sure if people are actually glad you're there, or just putting up with you for the sake of politeness? In the last month, have there been more than three occasions when you clammed up because you had absolutely no idea what to say?
Your problem might have a name, and that name might be Social Impairment (SI).
People with SI are like other people in most ways. They eat, go to the bathroom, have sexual urges and may even hold gainful employment. But these everyday tasks (except for maybe going to the bathroom) are difficult for SI sufferers to complete. Imagine trying to have a meal in a restaurant with the feeling that every bite you take is too big, the entree you ordered is completely inappropriate and everyone in a fifty-foot radius is staring at you. Or picture yourself stumbling around your office in a daze, not sure if people's friendly jokes are just offhand comments or really reflect a deep irritation with you and your general incompetence. But if someone would just tell you what's going on... or better yet, if you could just look it up in a nice impersonal Wikipedia-type atmosphere... you'd know how to respond with alacrity and wit to any troubling social situation.
For billions and billions of Americans, the nightmare of SI is an everyday reality. Someone with SI could be your neighbor... your child... or it could even be you. Don't let this problem continue unchecked. Call today with your generous donation. 63% of your gift will go directly to the establishment of a Web site containing analysis of, and suggested behavior in, over 15,000 potentially awkward or unsettling interpersonal scenarios. (The other 34% has been earmarked for the RedMolly Wine and Remedial Arithmetic Fund.) And when you call right now, you'll not only get free one-year access to this valuable resource, you'll also get your choice of a fetching baseball cap or a rather tent-like T-shirt emblazoned with the slogan "SI: It's like ED without the squishiness, or RLS without the utter pointlessness, or SIS with one letter fewer." Or, really, we'll put whatever you want on it. That's the joy of CafePress.
Operators are standing by. Make a difference in the life of an SI sufferer today.