Guess what? Crickets do in fact appear in this musical interlude, which is the show I'm doing tonight at KAFM 9-midnight.
'Cause I discovered that it is not only effective, but also funny to replace expletives with cricket noises.
So turn on, tune in and toke up. It's the Drinking and Drugs show, baby! Requests are always welcome during the show... 970-243-8801.
Also, here's the scoop on the guy who pissed me off:
I posted some writing. Not, perhaps, the great American novel, but I rather liked it. And he (a Published Novelist, woo freakin' whoo) DUMPED on it. Rudely, cruelly and with no sense of what a critique actually consists of. Me, were I to read something so utterly not to my taste, I would probably just not say anything about it. But he was full of irritability and rude comments, and apparently the Piss Fairy had paid an extra-special visit to his Cheerios that morning, so I just happened to cross paths with him at the wrong space/time juncture.
ANYWAY. So I went around all teary/angry/ready to shred my writing and set ink to paper nevermore for about two hours. Then I went back and re-read his comments and was upset all over again. But this time, I had gotten new comments from someone who is also a Published Novelist.
And SHE quite liked it. And said so. And pointed out the one thing that wasn't working for her, and hey, she was right; I posted this little chunk o' literaryness not for accolades, but to find out what I could change to make it better.
So I went to Amazon, feeling a little better but still a bit steamed, and looked up both of their books.
And guess what? His are all (a) out of print, (b) rife with extremely negative reviews or (c) both. And hers are (a) very much in print, (b) well-reviewed and (c) going to be purchased by me for our next round of bedtime reading (after we finish Farmer Boy).
In the immortal words of my roommate Ama, "Neener neener, you whore."